Trepidation

I think the worst thing about waiting for an OU course to start is the not-knowing.
I don't know how much time it's going to take me, whether my essay writing skillorz are up to scratch, whether it'll be all be horribly beyond my comprehension.
I don't know how much I'll be able to work round the kids, and my commitments to them and general housekeeping. I have officially left work today - I am now scrounging off the state wholly, instead of partially. This is somewhat terrifying in itself as I have no idea how the reduction in money will work out for us.
I don't know whether I'll enjoy the course, whether I'll 'get' it, whether everyone else will loathe me entirely...

I can be anxious to the point of neurotic at times and I am about this course starting. Excited too, but primarily anxious.
The OU don't really help with the anxiety by basically saying 'Don't worry...all will become clear' in the preliminary literature. My poorly, freshly de-tonsilled toddler is sucking all my time into a vortex at present, so I haven't read through much of my course stuff yet (hence examination-spotting fail). I need to go shopping and fill my study with stationery. MOAR PENS!
My course website doesn't open until next Wednesday, so I can't go and bitch about being a paranoid idiot at everyone else for a whole WEEK and I don't really have time to anyway, until Jimmy's feeling better.

Instead, I dwell and panic and fret and stare at my study calendar, and fret more, and briefly consider weeping.

Ah, only two and a half more weeks until I can stop flailing and start working.